{"id":268,"date":"2016-08-25T19:54:29","date_gmt":"2016-08-26T00:54:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/morsepower.net\/?p=268"},"modified":"2016-08-25T19:54:29","modified_gmt":"2016-08-26T00:54:29","slug":"kids-songs-youtube-hall-of-shame-chapter-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/morsepower.net\/?p=268","title":{"rendered":"Kids Songs YouTube Hall of Shame: Chapter 2"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not surprised that I was able to find enough of these abominations to put together another post. \u00c2\u00a0I speculated this would happen when I wrote Part 1. \u00c2\u00a0No, what surprises me is how quickly I was able to do so.<\/p>\n<h4>London Bridge Revisited<\/h4>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"London Bridge is Falling Down | Nursery Rhyme\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/9VIGQCbAgL0?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>I love this one because it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s such a slow burn into ridiculousness. \u00c2\u00a0It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s like boiling a frog. \u00c2\u00a0One minute you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re listening to a run-of-the-mill rendition of a centuries-old diddie. \u00c2\u00a0Three minutes later you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re drugging a prison guard to help him pull an all-nighter, wondering what the fuck happened to that bridge.<\/p>\n<h4>Itsy Bitsy Low Budget Spider<\/h4>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"The Itsy Bitsy Spider\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/CwwUb978l_c?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a video rendition of Itsy Bitsy Spider performed by heavily medicated vocalists, drawn in MS Paint.<\/p>\n<p>I have no idea why this exists. \u00c2\u00a0This from a channel that seems to be dedicated to children\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s songs. \u00c2\u00a0Somebody there just decided that what this song really needed was a 90s rap interlude. \u00c2\u00a0If this was actually intended to be a viable children\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s song, we might have a Hall of Shame Part 3 before the month is over.<\/p>\n<h4>Five Little Babies Do All the Things<\/h4>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Ice Cream Song | Zool Babies Fun Songs | Nursery Rhymes Collection\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/8JXYtE7LRjg?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Another Indian video channel produced another whackadoodle video series. \u00c2\u00a0That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a strange coincidence. \u00c2\u00a0This time it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s in 3D. \u00c2\u00a0And it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an hour marathon of the same damned song, after they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re done misspelling ice cream.<\/p>\n<p>The general formula seems to have been lifted from the classic \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Five Little Monkeys,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and each video obeys the following simple algorithm.<\/p>\n<p>Initial condition: N = 5<\/p>\n<pre>While (N &gt; 0):\r\n\r\n\u00c2\u00a0N babies are doing a thing\r\n\r\n\u00c2\u00a0Something bad happens to one baby\r\n\r\n\u00c2\u00a0An authority figure is contacted\r\n\r\n\u00c2\u00a0Baby cannot do that thing anymore\r\n\r\n\u00c2\u00a0Decrement N\r\n\r\nNo more babies doing the thing<\/pre>\n<p>First off, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153authority figure\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in the above sense is always either a doctor or the dad. \u00c2\u00a0The mom is basically just there to defer to the males. \u00c2\u00a0Take that, Susan B. Anthony!<\/p>\n<p>But in this case they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve also gone off the rails with the sheer variety of activities these babies are doing, as well as the ways they manage to fuck it up.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Riding scooters<\/li>\n<li>Skating on ice<\/li>\n<li>Taking selfies<\/li>\n<li>Playing with toys in general<\/li>\n<li>Throwing balls<\/li>\n<li>Driving cars<\/li>\n<li>Opening Giant Eggs<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4>Hickory Dickory Dead<\/h4>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Hickory Dickory Dock\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/cRN1K7bwkGU?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just no two ways about this. \u00c2\u00a0We were trolled. \u00c2\u00a0This wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t an attempt to make a kids video gone awry. \u00c2\u00a0This wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a mistranslation. \u00c2\u00a0It was a honey pot. \u00c2\u00a0Somebody wanted this to happen.<\/p>\n<p>It was a well executed troll, to be sure. \u00c2\u00a0It starts out pretty straightforward. \u00c2\u00a0Then it gets spooky. \u00c2\u00a0Okay, I can get it, maybe it was a Halloween thing. \u00c2\u00a0Then headcrabs show up. \u00c2\u00a0A Half Life reference? \u00c2\u00a0Seems strange but if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re going for scary, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not that bad.<\/p>\n<p>Then the All Seeing Eye summons the Manticore to begin a flame ritual to awaken Cthulu.<\/p>\n<p>Um.<\/p>\n<p>Stephanie cut this one off at 8, and that was a wise choice. \u00c2\u00a0She\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a smart woman. \u00c2\u00a0We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve since been thinking twice about letting the little ones pick the videos. \u00c2\u00a0They don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s out there. \u00c2\u00a0They don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need to know. \u00c2\u00a0Not just yet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not surprised that I was able to find enough of these abominations to put together another post. \u00c2\u00a0I speculated this would happen when I wrote Part 1. \u00c2\u00a0No, what surprises me is how quickly I was able to do so. London Bridge Revisited I love this one because it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s such a slow burn into [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-268","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/morsepower.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/morsepower.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/morsepower.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morsepower.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morsepower.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=268"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/morsepower.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":269,"href":"https:\/\/morsepower.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/268\/revisions\/269"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/morsepower.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=268"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morsepower.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=268"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/morsepower.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=268"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}